Is it common in your culture to touch people when talking to them?

[Curiouscat]

There was a similar topic in the past about this ...

In the UK people are very aware of their own and other peoples personal space, especially strangers don't touch outside of a handshake.

In Turkey, people touch strangers, they really touch, they invade your personal space so closely you can smell what they last ate, they will touch your hair, your clothes, your body, they will ask personal questions and they will stare at you. They will also gossip freely about you once you have left. LOL.

Good friends and family are really touchy- feely...they weren't in mind when I wrote the above though.

[Arminfrench]

In my country you only touch people while speaking when you have a certain extent of confidence with them, otherwise you would make them feel unconfortable, men could think you're making some sort of gay approaching and women would think you want to get laid.

Because there's is these non spoken part of the language that is as for instance if a gal who is talking to you and somehow touches you, it means she likes you and she's trying to get into some kind of more personal relation with you.

[Aila]

Really? That strikes me as a very weird habit for a Finn to have. I'd think we are the least touchy-feely people probably in the world

Maybe you are seeing the world from your Westie point of view and imagine (like many Westies do) that the way you are applies, or rather, should apply to every Finn.
It is also a tendency of a Westie to speak for all, whereas I can't even speak for all Karelians.
So even though you do write many posts, - saying how Karelians are different to you, the actual realization of this still doesn't dawn on you, does it? That is also a Westie trait.

But I am not blaming you really because, perhaps, touching is a learned (cultural) response and we all do see the world through our “cultural prisms”. It is just that, if we do not acknowledge or see the prism being there, then this prism can become like a subconscious “prison”.



With my Ladogan side of family, from early childhood to adult years women (relatives and in-laws) went to sauna together. There was a lot of physical contact, you wash each other's backs, give massages etc. so you learn to associate touching with caring for another.
When I then go to Thailand for example, where women are leaning against me, touching me, holding and hugging me, I don't feel anything sexual about it, it is just an expression of shared warmth, solidarity and support among women. I don't get overwhelmed by it, it just feels good.

Doesn't it make them uncomfortable? And just to double check, you aren't gay are you?

Though I must say, my Isthmus Karelian relatives weren't or aren't as touching. They were/are more conceptual (screens), hence more distant and cold. Not all of them though.


Some native-mobs here can be rather touching and hugging. It establishes a bond between yous, maintains it and renews it, and if you feel the bond there already, spiritually, emotionally and mentally, hugs are a good way to just let go and convey it all.

[Rochefaton]

No. In fact, it is a good way to start an altercation. Just know that if you are passing through Alabama that it is not a good idea to put your hands on another person unless you are friends or family.

[Saif ad-Dhib]

Oh, the oddity of being between the cultures. I spend time with South Asians, Arabs, other American Whites, and my family. All of them having different ranges of respectable behavior and customs. Sometimes I have held hands, other times I've kissed and have been kissed my men, the sitting at a certain difference, being crammed together on the floor listening or praying, and so on.

[Jerry]

Whoaaa there sonny! Where did that gay suggestion came from? I'm straight as a plank, there is no way you could have missed that! Yes it can make people uncomfortable and that is a good reason to do it. Fex you are starting to get in my nerves right now so if this was real life I'd certainly crab your shoulder just to piss you off, or maybe... I would just place my foot on top your toes... howd you like that? I surely hope that wouldn't give you a boner, but I guess everythings possible these days *sigh*

And I don't all do it the time and to everybody, just sometimes if it feels so. Maybe to comfort (yes sonny it can sometimes comfort folk), maybe to get in to peoples nerves.

Maybe I commented to provoke a bit? But anyways, I wasn't completely serious, no worries

I really find that odd though still, nothing wrong with it, but I find it odd if there are some completely different types of Finns who I have completely ignored during my years in Finland and behave that differently

@Aila: I live in Helsinki, and it's not like I'm somehow segregated to a place where there are only Western Finns.

I call BS on the notion that Eastern Finns are particularly touchy-feely or that it is so different there, but I guess there are exceptions!

[takoja]

By the way some Finnish cultures do touch each other and even kiss each other on the cheeks. This applies to Karelian Finns, according to my Finnish friend from the Russian side of Karelia.

I have never heard Karelians cheek kissing. French do that. And maybe Germans, Russians etc.

No. In fact, it is a good way to start an altercation. Just know that if you are passing through Alabama that it is not a good idea to put your hands on another person unless you are friends or family.

Wow, Alabama folk are badasses. What would you do if I stepped on your toes?

Maybe I commented to provoke a bit? But anyways, I wasn't completely serious, no worries

I really find that odd though still, nothing wrong with it, but I find it odd if there are some completely different types of Finns who I have completely ignored during my years in Finland and behave that differently

@Aila: I live in Helsinki, and it's not like I'm somehow segregated to a place where there are only Western Finns.

I call BS on the notion that Eastern Finns are particularly touchy-feely or that it is so different there, but I guess there are exceptions!

You are making your own interpretations of my words. Jesus I don't go around hugging guys if that's what you thought. I was talking more in the lines of friendly jabbing the shoulder, or a friendly punch to the back of your head, that kind of friendly stuff.

That is friendly greeting between mates. Now hand shaking, that's faggotry. I would never shake voluntarily another guy's hand. But I've heard that's common in the south.

[Legion]

In Russia no, except maybe among Caucasians. Russians, Tatars, Ukrainians, Germans and so on, keep their distance when speaking, even to their best friends. They may lean in, but touching, maybe only if you want to seduce a girl. Now, Mexico is a completely different story. Usually you meet girls you don't know with a kiss on the cheek and people are touchy-feely on average. I don't like being touched and frankly I feel uncomfortable with random people entering my personal space. Here in Mexico this happens a lot and is considered normal.

[Arminfrench]

^^^^^Myself being mexican have the idea that we are not very touchy-feely but you as a russian perceive it otherwise...Interesting!!!. i guess it points out at how closed and cold russians are.

[cinnamona]

On the contrary, I've heard complaint that Russians keep smaller distance when talking and it's very unpleasant.

I have only dealt with integrated Russians, not the ones "straight off from Russia", so I can't compare. Maybe that one Russian was new in Lithuania or just not well integrated.
Thought it's interesting.