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Thread: About having kids.2172 days old

  1. #101
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    Last edited by Rugevit; 2018-01-12 at 18:08.

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by EliasAlucard View Post
    Dude, haven't you learned it's rude to ask women about their age?
    Everyone on this forum will have a child later than what is the mean age in Europe/North America (~29). Most people on this forum are over 30.
    The Future was better before

  4. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugevit View Post
    @Una and @Evi . Would you adopt a child? My wife wanted to adopt a child from Latvia. It's easier to adopt a child from Latvia for citizens of certain countries. A person from orphanage in Latvia asked us for $50,000 to organise everything quickly.
    I would adopt a child under certain circumstances, especially an indigenous child from Western Siberia. It's actually fairly typical there for families to adopt children, especially those of relatives, because unfortunately death rate for young people there is much higher than in Europe (alcohol related accidents, road accidents because of dangerous traffic, drowning on water etc.)
    It's really nice that your wife wants to adopt a child IMO.

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  6. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Una View Post
    Most likely I wouldn’t adopt a child. I wouldn’t know from what background the kid is (maybe there are some mental diseases, or alcoholism). I’ve seen it way too many times when normal people adopt children and those kids turn out completely messed up. Also those kids tend to look for their biological parents which is normal imo, and as a selfish person I couldn’t accept that my adopted child is looking for his/hers biological parents. Though, I must say, as someone who is against surrogacy and baby growin in labs, I think an adoption is the way to go if you desperately want to have a child.
    I am open to adoption option, especially if I know child's background and he/she is from similar cultural and racial background as mine. I would especially adopt indigenous children from Western Siberia, because I have myself roots from there, they as close knit communities know each other, and the child's background therefore also would be known etc. And I'd be totally OK that the child would be looking after parents, I would probably know myself them anyway. I would try to keep indigenous culture (whichever it is) close to child's heart.
    The other side of mine, the Latvian side, is a bit more complicated for adoption IMO, because it's about much larger and looser community. The background of a child might really be unknown and genetics might be more of a lottery.

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    We have adopted children in our family. There's no difference between uncles and ants ,and those adopted. In my part of the world (Vitebsk region northern Belarus, near Daugavpils, southern Latvia) adoption was common after WWII.

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  10. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janos View Post
    Most people on this forum are over 30.
    I am under 30.

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    For now it looks like that I might have a kid when I'm around 30, 31, but you never know.
    I'm in a good place professionally at the moment and I want to take advantage of this moment. I also don't feel like there's something missing in my life and I don't have any motherly instincts that should be satisfied somehow. I shouldn't get pregnant now anyways, even if I would want to have a child right now and the plan for now is just to fix my heath and grow professionally.

    I also don't understand people who say that they want a certain amount of kids, at a certain age. etc. I think its childish.
    First of all, you should start to try to have a child to understand if that's something that can happen for you at all... you should also consider all the things you can give to a child and I mean both, material and spiritual/mental. I mean, I want to raise a good person and if I'll feel like I can't do it, I won't do it. I don't want to spoil my child, but I still want it to have everything it needs.

    I would also like to see how I bare a pregnancy and the labor, to know if I would and could go trough that again.
    Generally speaking, having a child for me is like the biggest most important thing that could happen to any human being. It's a responsibility that doesn't beat any other one you could possibly have. I also don't want to tie my child to myself like so many parents unfortunately do it. I want to raise a person who can feel free about the choices he or she makes. I don't want them to have the guilt that so many children have towards their parents... like they let the parents down, or that they should take care of their parents. I don't want to be a selfish parent like that.

  12. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Una View Post
    For now it looks like that I might have a kid when I'm around 30, 31, but you never know.
    I'm in a good place professionally at the moment and I want to take advantage of this moment. I also don't feel like there's something missing in my life and I don't have any motherly instincts that should be satisfied somehow. I shouldn't get pregnant now anyways, even if I would want to have a child right now and the plan for now is just to fix my heath and grow professionally.

    I also don't understand people who say that they want a certain amount of kids, at a certain age. etc. I think its childish.
    First of all, you should start to try to have a child to understand if that's something that can happen for you at all... you should also consider all the things you can give to a child and I mean both, material and spiritual/mental. I mean, I want to raise a good person and if I'll feel like I can't do it, I won't do it. I don't want to spoil my child, but I still want it to have everything it needs.

    I would also like to see how I bare a pregnancy and the labor, to know if I would and could go trough that again.
    Generally speaking, having a child for me is like the biggest most important thing that could happen to any human being. It's a responsibility that doesn't beat any other one you could possibly have. I also don't want to tie my child to myself like so many parents unfortunately do it. I want to raise a person who can feel free about the choices he or she makes. I don't want them to have the guilt that so many children have towards their parents... like they let the parents down, or that they should take care of their parents. I don't want to be a selfish parent like that.
    Yeah, you are a modern type of woman. First career, then child.
    The Future was better before

  13. #109
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    In the West men are present during women giving birth to children. My girl told me to stay outside. She said I don't like seeing you. That's how are things in Belarus.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Janos View Post
    Yeah, you are a modern type of woman. First career, then child.
    Evi has a child as far as I know. Most Latvian women have children under 25.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Janos View Post
    Yeah, you are a modern type of woman. First career, then child.
    It’s not just that. When I was growing up, I always felt like having children is like almost being handicapped. It was always some problems, such as, it costs money to dress a child, to prepare a child for school... my parents always felt bothered when they had to go to class meetings and stuff like that. I got sick when I was 8 and my mom had to take me to a doctor every month for several years. If she had an option to leave me at a hospital, instead of taking me to some specialists she would always do it. I always had to feel bad when she had to ask for a day off at work to take me to a doctor. I’ve thought about this a lot especially as I’ve gotten older...all the reasons why my parents had children at all. I know my mom really wanted a child. She had two misscariges before I was born, but I feel like she liked the idea of being a mother rathe than actually being a mother. She loves babies and children and she asks me when I’m gonna have mine, cause I’m already 28, but I just don’t know. I don’t want my child to feel like I felt while I was growing up... the guilt and blame. I’m also the big sister so this concept also was put in me since the day my sister was born.
    Last edited by Una; 2018-01-14 at 18:42.

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