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Thread: Alien: Covenant (Prometheus sequel)96 days old

  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by beyoku View Post
    Super predictable Right? It seems like it was written by some teenagers:
    -Death due to extreme stupidity.
    -Death due to sex
    -Death due to bathroom usage
    -Spread of death by hiding infection

    Are all generic 80's B-movie horror tactics. The movie insults my intelligence.
    Here's a good IMDb review, ranting on the stupidity of the film, lol:

    Spoiler: 
    643 out of 944 people found the following review useful:

    Nonsical plot and stupid characters ruin it all.
    1/10
    Author: kuuk3 from United Kingdom
    13 May 2017
    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

    Spoilers. This film is a complete mess.

    1. There is a ship full off over 1000 sleeping passengers. Yet they have just one android to look after it all. Why not have 3, 10 or even 20! They don't age and surely you need a backup.

    2. A rogue unexplained solar flare hits the ship disabling it, and Walter says they should leave the area asap. But instead they go further into it.

    3. An astronaut outside the ship picks up a stray signal through his helmets two-way radio, that somehow appears in visual form on the glass of his helmet? Yet the giant ship with the radio dish right next to him misses it!

    4. How did they determine the artist from the white noise? What they found later no-way explains why they sent a song into space for no apparent reason!

    5. They are able to trace a stray video signal to a planet two weeks away at star-ship speed.

    6. You don't need to send almost the entire crew down to an alien planet! A scout team of four would have sufficed. Or maybe just the android on reconnaissance.

    7. They pilot the drop ship through a plasma storm, yet it is sunlight clear within seeing distance. Why not fly around the storm?

    8. They should have scouted the area, alien buildings and mass graveyards before landing the ship.

    9. They land in the water, even though solid ground is just ten yards away. With unknown worms other possible deadly life in it. Unstable ground is not wise to land on, just to get your shoes wet?

    10. You open the door after landing, not during.

    11. They don't bother wearing space suits, they don't send the android out first to test the area.

    12. They leave just one person on the ship, and leave the bay door wide open in unfamiliar terrain.

    13. There is wheat on the planet. Did they just take seeds with them for the fun of it?

    14. You do not let an infected person with an alien disease back on your ship.

    15. Don't open the door to a quarantine lab with a monster in it, and don't go inside and slip on the blood.

    16. When you shoot the metal wall of your shuttle with metal bullets, they usually ricochet. The fuel canisters are not usually left inside the ship, on the wall next to the door.

    17. The two crew members that were in the shuttle as it exploded. At what point do you go check on all the screaming in the next room?

    18. When following an android on an alien planet with a flare gun, through a dead city full of dead bodies, don't bother asking him about any of it. Or suspect him as the only survivor to have been the cause.

    19. Androids kissing each other. Android David raping a woman. Why?

    20. David decides to give himself a haircut, using garden sheers for no obvious reason, yet afterwards it was clearly done with an electric razor. And no one questions it.

    21. Android robots can play the flute. You need lungs for that, to blow air.

    22. Android David created the dust mites, the mutant embryo, a dozen eggs without a queen. Yet he made all this without any scientific equipment, zero tools, while living in a cave filled with his drawings and a flute.

    23. The smart mini dust mites were perfection. A micro monster that kills within minutes. Logically, why would it evolve to a size that makes it vulnerable?

    24. Don't split up in an alien vessel.

    25. When you contact the main ship in orbit, give them a full report. Not just two words. And they should have abandoned you at that point to protect the rest of the passengers.

    26. When the Captain finds David, talking to an Alien with the decapitated head of a fellow crew-member in the water, he doesn't start shooting him. Instead he follows him into the bowels of the ship and into a room full of eggs.

    27. Do not look directly into an alien egg that is opening.

    28. Apparently the gestation time of face alien impregnating a person to full alien form is just ten seconds now. Yet later it takes a few hours, and in Alien it took a day.

    29. When Walter goes to confront David after being attacked, he should have got himself a gun. He was missing a hand, and about to fight another android on his home turf.

    30. Do not fly a colony ship into a plasma storm, overwriting every safety protocol.

    31. The loading platform should have flown straight back up. There was no reason the pilot was swinging the ship around like a mad man. The alien was not affecting its movement, and the storm had even subsided. Yet he flew it into buildings and all sorts of tilting.

    32. With problems piling up, you don't turn of "Mother" the main ship computer for rebooting.

    33. The aliens smash through reinforced glass with its head at every opportunity, without any harm to themselves.

    34. The humans wear spacesuits to survive in the vacuum. But apparently aliens can survive without them.

    35. Do not take a loud shower, with loud music and ignore the siren alarms.

    36. When you have two identical looking androids and one of them is evil. Perhaps ask it a few basic security questions before giving it full command of the ship.


    ^^ All excellent points.
    Last edited by EliasAlucard; 2017-05-27 at 14:57.
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    Oh, well, in other news I saw a sci-fi film called The Passengers which is not brand spanking new but newish that was pretty good. It's a bit of a love story not full of violence but good nonetheless. It takes place in a ship flying half the speed of light travelling to another planet.


    The best sci-fi movie I have seen in the past several years is Ex Machina but that is probably because I am a geek.
    Last edited by ThePendragon; 2017-05-24 at 14:27.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThePendragon View Post
    The best sci-fi movie I have seen in the past several years is Ex Machina but that is probably because I am a geek.
    You can't compare Ex Machina with a film like Alien: Covenant. Machina is a film about artificial intelligence, and it's a film made with computer geeks in mind. I'm pretty sure that if mankind succeeds with artificial intelligence in the future, and we have these Ex Machina-like robots that we can customize their physical appearance all we like and have sex with whenever we want to, that will be the end of porn as we know it.

    The Alien franchise however, is something else. Sure, there's artificially intelligent humanoids here as well, but whereas they've always been sort of like side characters in the Alien films, in Prometheus and Covenant, the androids/synthetics are the leading characters the story is centered around, as opposed to the engineers or the xenomorphs.

    What was so exciting about Prometheus to me personally, was the space jockeys (engineers or "gods"). That was what we all wanted to see, who the hell was that mysterious space jockey in the first Alien film, what was he doing there alone with those alien eggs, and so on. That was what Prometheus was supposed to be about. Instead we got very little engineers and no xenomorphs, and a plot centered around an android that went rogue. So basically it was Ridley Scott doing his Blade Runner shit again, in a film that's supposed to be about extra-terrestrial intelligence (and far superior to human intelligence).

    This in my opinion, is what ruined Prometheus. Everyone complained about the dumb scientists in Prometheus (and dumb colonists is once again what everyone is upset about with Alien: Covenant; Ridley Scott didn't learn shit from the negative feedback he got from Prometheus). Sure, the fact that the characters in these two Alien prequels have two digit IQs, that's a problem, but the biggest problem with Alien: Covenant is that it's once again yet another generic film about artificial intelligence gone awry. As if we haven't seen that a million times already in plenty of Hollywood films, from the first Alien film to Terminator, Matrix, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ex Machina and so on. We've also seen the alien xenomorphs in six different films, and that concept is also tired at this point. The engineers would have been something new and unique: the first high budget Hollywood film about the space jockeys, or ancient astronauts. That would have been quite a something else for a change.

    I take it back that Alien: Covenant is an okay film; I was high yesterday when I saw it and wasn't thinking straight when I wrote that. Alien: Covenant sucks for the same reasons as Prometheus sucked: no engineer story (we saw them much less here than we did in Prometheus), dumb characters with no character development, and while we fortunately didn't see much of Noomi Rapace (not only is Noomi unattractive, she was so annoying in Prometheus with her phony accent), Katherine Waterston sported the ugliest feminist hair cut in movie history (what was she thinking when she cut her hair short like that? Was she trying to look masculine enough for the role?).

    The only good actor in these two Alien prequels is Fassbender, and he should have some more self-respect from now on and not sign up for crappy films like this. Or just do a Blade Runner film where this kind of evil AI robots is what the plot is actually supposed to be about.

    Hollywood should retire Ridley Scott. He's too old to think straight and his only good films are Alien and Gladiator, and Gladiator is overrated (it's not bad but people talk about it as if it was the best film ever), and Blade Runner is an overrated, hyped up B-film.
    Last edited by EliasAlucard; 2017-05-25 at 06:23.
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    Quote Originally Posted by EliasAlucard View Post
    Aren't you college educated microbiology majors rich enough to buy a cinema ticket like everyone else?
    I wanna watch it at home on my PS4. I wanna get high as duck and watch it...
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    Another excellent IMDb review:

    Spoiler: 
    71 out of 132 people found the following review useful:

    A genuinely tragic waste.
    3/10
    Author: Ben C. Hicks from London
    15 May 2017
    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

    Never have two films filled me with such a sense of profound and deep ennui and disappointment as Prometheus and Covenant. They could have been science fiction for the ages, pieces of history which complete, or give beautiful background to arguably the best duo of horror/sci-fi films humanity ever created, in Alien and Aliens. Why is £100m been given to an 80yr old who very clearly cannot make decent films anymore?

    It wouldn't, or shouldn't even have been that hard. Ridley Scott had the budget, the scenery, the CGI, the lead actor at the zenith of his career giving incredible performances in both films. Even after Prometheus, you senile old fool, even after making a mess out of that, after the own goal you kicked there - just learn from it and make something wonderful, something spellbinding. To take the same mistakes from Prometheus and stick them in AC is another level of dumb. Its dumber than the decision making of the characters in both films, which is borderline braindead.

    Lets start with the good. The actual filming and scenery are incredible (as they were in Prometheus), the film looks amazing. Fassbender is brilliant. He's effectively doing both lead roles, which is almost a salvation, of sorts. The first segment of the movie, where the ship has difficulties and they lose the captain, are great.

    The bad. In Prometheus, they went off on a multi-year, multi-trillion dollar mission because they found some chalk drawings in a cave. Surely some amoeba brained cretin will ensure such an event wont happen again

    "Hey, someones playing a John Denver record from a world we didn't even know existed, shall we abandon our 7 year voyage and go live there instead? "Hey, lets land in some water. Not the dry land next to it. Not the vast alien city we seem to be within walking distance of that we didn't notice at all. Some water" "Hey guys. Shall we scientifically investigate this new alien planet or just send 80% of the crew down there wearing baseball caps?" "what shall we do with this guy who's clearly been infected with something terrible, quarantine him or bring him onboard?"

    This carries on almost ad infinitum. The script/plot writers for this are an embarrassment not just to film, but to the human race.

    Deary, deary, deary me. I spent half the film sighing as I imagined Ridley clapping as his actors, who you couldn't care less about, make these decisions which will result in their deaths in the very near future.

    The scene where one of the supporting actors say they have to "go use the bathroom" and heads off to meet their inevitable fate defies belief. Then there is the nonsense about faith. Thankfully, Billy Crudup's character, who has all this faith, gets alien facehugger-killed, and I think everyone should be quite happy about that.

    David. David, David. Is the Alien franchise ultimately based around an android who has a bit of a hissy fit and decides, for no clear reason, to commit genocide against the Engineers, and also plans to exterminate humanity in its entirety? Ridley, Ridley, Ridley, what have you done? What is this total mess?

    These Engineers, who promised so much, are basically ignored as part of the plot. David just exterminates them and every living thing on their planet, despite them being a vastly intelligent race, by lobbing chemical weapons out of a cargo bay. Then, despite being in complete control of the spacecraft, Ol' Dave crash lands it in some nearby woods.

    By this point, you're so demoralised you just hope something truly terrible happens in terms of bloodshed so its at least a mad slasher pic. But no, Davey boy shows his brother Walter how to play the flute.

    We then find out Davey has been effectively living as a mad scientist, working in candlelight and with quills and paper drawings, genetically engineering loads of alien creatures, using Noomi Roopace's corpse, which somehow wasn't destroyed by the pathogens that destroyed every humanoid, or the unnecessary crash. So in an advanced, space-faring city, technology everywhere, a robot is using medieval techniques and devices to go about his mental work. What had Scott been drinking here?

    Thankfully, after avoiding any more common sense, the remaining few characters end up back on the spaceship, one of them infected of course. Then after some more total failures of decision making, the alien manages to grow from inches long to a huge monster within a few minutes, (see also: Prometheus) and manages to murder two of the crew who got so horny watching everyone die in terrible ways they have a shag in a shower with such loud music playing the alarms about a monster coming to kill them aren't heard. Why have suspense when we can have Scream 3 in space? Why make a decent film when we can smear excrement on some paper and use that as the script? Why have character development if you can avoid it?

    As per prior movies, the alien is lobbed out of the air lock, as they cant come up with a more creative way of killing it, and the identical android, who no-one bothered checking isn't the identical bad one, turns out to be the baddie, regurgitates two alien embryos(??) he'd been storing for a rainy day, plays some classical music, end credits roll.

    I think I wanted Islamic State to attack the cinema by this time.

    Ridley should be in a home wearing a nappy, not stealing a living with a plot written by someone who thinks CSI Miami is the peak of intelligent drama.

    In all seriousness, I was genuinely saddened by both Prometheus and Covenant. Such a terrible waste of an incredible opportunity, gone forever into the mists of nothingness.


    But he's right about the engineers; David shouldn't have been capable of exterminating them like that, given their far superior technology.

    Anyway, Prometheus and Alien: Covenant are a disgrace to the Alien franchise, because Alien, Aliens and Alien: Resurrection are all excellent films, which deserve a proper prequel trilogy.
    Last edited by EliasAlucard; 2017-05-25 at 21:33.
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    Quoted for truth:
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    I honestly thought it was pretty darn good, though aspects of it did seem like the director tried the mainstream movie industries attempt at franchising certain films into global blockbusters. But it was a pretty good film overall, a little bit too disturbing though. Im not a major fan of the alien films anyway, so for me I can judge it with a bit more leeway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ancestryfan1994 View Post
    I honestly thought it was pretty darn good, though aspects of it did seem like the director tried the mainstream movie industries attempt at franchising certain films into global blockbusters. But it was a pretty good film overall, a little bit too disturbing though. Im not a major fan of the alien films anyway, so for me I can judge it with a bit more leeway.
    If you watch it as a standalone film, it's fine. The thing is, it's not a film made in a vacuum (no pun intended!), and neither was Prometheus. Whereas Prometheus was made almost as a standalone film (Ridley Scott and Damon Lindelof tried to distance it from the Alien franchise as much as possible, to the point that no xenomorphs were in the film), Covenant was not. It even has Alien in its film title. As such, it must be judged in relation to its siblings; the other Alien films, and Prometheus.

    The biggest problem with Prometheus in my opinion, is that it gave us very little engineers / space jockeys. In Covenant, there's even less of that (like just one short scene, when Fassbender kills them all). Everyone was complaining when Prometheus was released, about unanswered questions like who are the engineers, why did they rip the head of Fassbender, why did they want to kill humans and so on. Ridley said these questions will be answered in the sequels. Well, turns out none of these questions were answered in Covenant. Instead we got some braindead action and a rehash of Ridley Scott's favorite film theme: unstable artificial intelligence / androids à la Blade Runner.
    Last edited by EliasAlucard; 2017-05-26 at 18:17.
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    “A wise man makes his own decisions; an ignorant man follows public opinion.” ― Chinese proverb

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    Quoted for truth:
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaron View Post
    Anatolian Urhemait supporters are mostly butthurt Meds.
    For the lulz:
    Quote Originally Posted by drgs View Post
    Poland is a misunderstanding. It is a country which lies on the frontier between western and slavic world, and which combines elements of both.
    In fact, they are not even the Europeans in strict sense, meaning European as in bearing the responsibility and understanding of European interests. Poland has always been an subordinate country, on one side sucking German dick, on the other side -- Russian one, some kind of "novice" europeans, who are full of inferiority complexes, hysteria and obsessity neuroses. This is also true for all Baltic countries

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThePendragon View Post
    Oh, well, in other news I saw a sci-fi film called The Passengers which is not brand spanking new but newish that was pretty good. It's a bit of a love story not full of violence but good nonetheless. It takes place in a ship flying half the speed of light travelling to another planet.


    The best sci-fi movie I have seen in the past several years is Ex Machina but that is probably because I am a geek.
    I saw Ex Macnina a few months ago and I liked it. The way it combined old fashion Stanislaw Lem -like narration and future technology was compelling. IMO also Prometheus had a good story, but the implementation was too minimalistic and boring. Want to see Alian Covenant, but I can wait for to see it at home.
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    A little food for thought....

    The movie's plot is less about aliens and more of a warning about creating human like AI. It was an ok movie.
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    • The Irish are of black origin.
    • The Knights of King Arthur's round table were Blacks.
    • There was an African, Gormund who ruled Ireland at the time of the Anglo-Saxons.
    • The first King to unite Norway was Black. He was known as Halfdan the Black.
    http://i.imgur.com/uSkUyji.jpg

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