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Thread: Chemical explanation of love3368 days old

  1. #21
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    You slants can't read very well, I see. It's written in plain English. That's not your fault. A biological impairment. Kidding.


    Re-reading the study and she left out quite a bit. I recommend the link to anyone interested in that sort of thing.

    This quote in particular surprised me.

    In a 54-item questionnaire Dr Fisher prepared for 430 Americans and 420 Japanese, 95 percent responded yes to the question, "Have you ever been dumped by someone you really love?" An equal number also dumped someone who really loved them. Getting dumped makes you love the person harder, Dr Fisher noted, a term she calls "frustration attraction."
    Wow. That's such a high number. How very unfortunate. It's also sad that people have a hard time letting go. Rejection leading to only loving the person even more. Funny, I'd have considered attributed that sort of behavior more towards lust than love.

    These systems are also connected. "Don’t copulate with people you don’t want to fall in love with," she half-jokingly tells her students, "because indeed you may do just that." Testosterone can kickstart the two love neurotransmitters while an orgasm can elevate the attachment hormones. But the brain systems remained separate units, probably to allow each partner to cheat on the other. This would have enhanced Alley Oop’s chances of transmitting his genes.

    Romantic love, Dr Fisher believes, is a stronger craving than sex.
    So, sex can lead to love, but romantic love is stronger than sex. The problem is, they don't believe that romantic love (being "in love") truly lasts very long at all. Interesting theories raised here.

    Meanwhile, elevated testosterone can suppress oxytocin and vasopressin. There is good evidence, Dr Fisher said, that men with higher testosterone levels tend to marry less often, be more abusive in their marriage, and divorce more regularly. The reverse can also be true. If a man holds a baby, levels of testosterone go down, perhaps in part because of oxytocin and vasopressin going up.
    Insert hyperlink to Alpha Male thread here. I think this point is true to an extent, but I don't want people to take it to mean that society abdicates it's share of the blame. A handful of decades ago, divorce was unheard of and just about everyone married. We didn't all start taking testosterone supplements since that generation. Western society just became more socially permissive. While guys like "The Situation" from Jersey Shore (and possibly Jack ) have very high testosterone influencing their attitude towards females, sex, and romance, I would presume that you are not being chemically forced to do anything you don't already want to do. Some men with normal levels of testosterone only abuse women because they were exposed to seeing it from a young age, for instance.


    Here's something you probably don't know about the good doctor. I knew I remembered her name from somewhere.

    Dr. Helen Fisher is also the founder of the dating site Chemistry.com. So, if you're single and you believe she's on to something in this study, feel free to shell out $30 a month or whatever it is for membership. I'll pass, but to each their own.

    As for my joke about buying a drink, the study provides a clear template.

    1. Offer to buy Ioke a drink.
    2. Spike the drink.
    3. Get her to sleep with you.
    4. She falls in love.
    5. Happiness for approximately two years until you both inevitably fall out of love.
    Thank you, Dr. Fisher! Now if that's not romantic, I don't know what is.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by alfieb View Post


    Thank you, Dr. Fisher! Now if that's not romantic, I don't know what is.
    That's very romantic.

    My thing used to be, invite a woman over my place for dinner (yes, I cook). Cook an excellent dinner, get her drunk off of good wine. Pretend I want to watch some intellectual/drama art house movie on DVD, totally hit on her drunk ass. Sleep with her. She falls in love with me. I never call her again.


    Which is what will happen most of the time in real life if a drug like this comes out.

    I've matured since then though...but a lot of men would use this drug for just that, but "skip" dinner...

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    Not me. I'm a dumbass. I actually enjoy buying a nice dinner and small talking for a few hours. And when the first date ends, I walk them to their door, kiss their hand, and that's it.

    Your way sounds far more cost-effective... but I don't think I would enjoy it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by alfieb View Post
    Not me. I'm a dumbass. I actually enjoy buying a nice dinner and small talking for a few hours. And when the first date ends, I walk them to their door, kiss their hand, and that's it.

    Your way sounds far more cost-effective... but I don't think I would enjoy it.
    DUDE WHATEVER

    Well, most women won't go to a guys house like that if they don't know them well unless they intend on having sex, actually most women wouldn't do that even if they did know them well under those circumstances unless it is pretty much a "Friendship" thing.

    SO this is generally not a first date. Generally.

    The "hand thing" is good. I like it...I usually don't try to kiss women on the first date.

    What I do is give them a hug. Then I see how close they are when they hug me.

    If we meet somewhere and I didn't drive, I text them to make sure they got in and say "good night".

    Next day or the day after I text them again, usually something random. then I see how long it takes them to respond. If they respond within 10-20 minutes i got them. If it takes them a day...I don't call them again.

    If we have a second date, no kiss, no third date. If we have a third date and no clothes come off, no forth date. (clothes coming off does not mean sex, but we have to be progressing...)

    That's how I do it.

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    Hmph. I think I'm invited over for coffee after a first date more times than I'm not. Could be a cultural thing. You date a lot of white girls. Maybe they're just uncomfortable letting you in after the first date, whereas I've got a harmless boy next door charm.

    I don't think open mouth kissing should come into play until you've dated a few times and have an inkling that you're going to give a relationship a try. Maybe I'm just a puritan, but I don't want a girl in my mouth unless I'm comfortable that she's clean. On the second date, she could've been with a guy a few hours ago and still have his business card in her mouth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by alfieb View Post
    Hmph. I think I'm invited over for coffee after a first date more times than I'm not. Could be a cultural thing. You date a lot of white girls. Maybe they're just uncomfortable letting you in after the first date, whereas I've got a harmless boy next door charm.

    I don't think open mouth kissing should come into play until you've dated a few times and have an inkling that you're going to give a relationship a try. Maybe I'm just a puritan, but I don't want a girl in my mouth unless I'm comfortable that she's clean. On the second date, she could've been with a guy a few hours ago and still have his business card in her mouth.
    Okay, you are unlike any Italian American I have ever met. "open mouth kissing..."

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    Sicily is the most conservative region in Italy. The ones you know and see on TV are Americanized. That's not to say that all people in Sicily are like me. Far from it. The last time I was in Palermo, I got out of the airport, hopped in a cab, and saw two teenagers doing it in an alleyway up against a brick wall.

    But I'm a product of my environment. My old world grandmother played a large part in my upbringing, and I owe her a lot.

    *Explanation of link: Less than 1/3 of voters chose left-wing parties.
    Last edited by alfieb; 2010-08-05 at 20:34.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Homus Afrikaans View Post
    Link: http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/3-27-2004-52238.asp







    And that's also the reason why chocolate is always a nice Valentine's gift !

    It seems love can be explained by body chemistry, you think it's just that, or there's also a metaphysical aspect, kinda mystical, that you can fall in love with the heart, and that true love cannot be explained through science?

    Thoughts!
    I'll never eat chocolate again,thanks.

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